Thursday, March 5, 2020
Change Is Not a Four-Letter Word - Introvert Whisperer
Introvert Whisperer / Change Is Not a Four-Letter Word - Introvert Whisperer Change Is Not a Four-Letter Word Donât you just love your habits? You must love them, because they are a big part of who you are, right? You have a habit of twisting your hair, sniffing, or eating when youâre tense. You do it without thinking about it, and thatâs the great thing about a habit. Itâs the robot part of living. Itâs autopilot. The problem with a habitâ"either one you want to get rid of or one you want to startâ"is that you have to⦠change. Ick! We live in the midst of urban myth about change. The myth is we are resistant to change, yet we change all the time in every way and have from the moment we were born. We believe change is impossible, but thatâs not true either. The one thing that is true is while there is expert knowledge about how to effectively make change, very few of us know about this information and subject ourselves to a lifetime of âdo-overs.â Itâs not surprising our myths about change persist. In order to avoid being in the 70% of people who fail when making any type of change, there are a few things you can do. You must deploy all of these things: Plan to fail. As negative as that sounds, itâs not. It means in our effort to change a habit, we will stray at some point. You might stray more than once. Make your strategy ahead of time and use it guilt-free. An example is eating. If you are dieting and canât resist having some birthday cake, then recognize what you did and cut back your intake on the next meal. It works for anything, but do figure out where you might stray and know what you will do ahead of time. You need help. As a nation of cowboys, weâre prone to not ask for help. If youâre making a change, you need help. You need a person to hold you accountable, cheer you on, and keep you focused. It often helps if that person is an expert in whatever habit you are working on, because they will have specific insight you need to know. People that attempt to make changes without another person in the mix, wonât succeed. You have to have an emotional need to change. You canât logic your way to a change. If you donât have an emotional connection or reason, you will lack the internal drive to push you forward. Think of this: If logic worked, no one would smoke or do drugs. We start for an emotional reason, and it takes an emotional reason for us to stop. The problem may be you havenât connected to a deep-rooted emotion. Until you do, donât start down the path of change, because you will quickly get derailed. Itâs going to be uncomfortable. Part of the beauty of a habit is we donât have to be conscious of what weâre doing. Itâs a way to save energy. We do something and donât burn one brain cell in the process. With change, you have to become conscious about your behavior, and that isnât comfy, because it requires energy and focus. You have to keep doing something new in its place long enough to ultimately turn it into a lifestyle habit. Developing new behavior requires your time and attention far longer than youâd like. (Experts say repeated behavior for 21 days. I think that is the bare minimum.) Itâs a lifetime commitment. Many people make the mistake of thinking they will âdo something untilâ¦â In other words, they have a point out in time when they can take their foot off the gas and relax about the new behavior. Donât plan on that working for you. Youâll notice people who go through 12-step programs to stop drinking refer to themselves as an alcoholic even when they havenât drunk in years. Itâs a way to maintain a level of consciousness as well as vigilance for the hard-fought-for change to stay in place. If youâre planning to change a habit, you donât want it to be temporary. Tomorrow morning when you brush your teeth, be grateful your parents taught you so many good habits when you were young. Because now that youâre an adult, you realize how habits conserve your energy and how challenging it is to change them. This article was originally published on Evolving Magazine. Go to top Do you know what your next career step is? Many people donât. I want to help you accelerate your career by connecting you with your Free Instant Access to my eBook on how to construct your Career SMART Goals â" that will help you put together your actions and keep you accountable. Get your copy now and start your action plan today! Brought to you by Dorothy Tannahill-Moran â" dedicated to unleashing your professional potential. Introvert Whisperer
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